Grandma's Visit
"Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.
What's Your Name, Again?
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
Here's a good one for you Papa;
Lemon Juice . . .
An old gent moved into a retirement community where good-looking, eligible men are at a premium. After he had been there for a week, he went to confession and said, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. Last week I had my way with seven different women"
The priest said, "Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing."
"Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?"
"No," replied the priest, "but it'll wipe that grin off your face."