Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enou gh to talk to God.
>>Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . "God, what does a million years mean to
>>you?"
>>The Lord replies, "A minute."
>>Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
>>The Lord replies, "A penny."
>>Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"
>>The Lord replies, "In a minute".
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.
>>Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She
>>sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I
>>should do?"
>>"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me,
>>exactly where is Larry's bar?"
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has
>>been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you
>>will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
>>you."
>>The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request,
>>dear," he said.
>>"Of course, John, " his wife said softly.
>>"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
>>"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
>>With his last breath John said, "I do!"
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to
>>hi s hotel.
>>When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first man you ever
>>made love to?"
>>She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might
>>be," she says. "Your face looks familiar."
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I
>>have to talk to you about it."
>>The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
>>The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
>>The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
>>The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
>>what should I do?"
>>The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I
>>can find out and I'll let you know."
>>A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your
>>wife. I sp oke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
>>The man said yes and the Rabbi! replied, "Take the poison."